In Loving Memory...

The Kingdom of Heaven is like yeast that a woman took and mixed in with three measures of flour until all of it was leavened (Matthew 13:34)

Ten years ago, Grandma returned home… after more than a year of battling with leukemia. She did not have many relatives (in fact, when she passed away, her only relatives were her husband, children and grandchildren), she did not have many possessions, she did not have much education; she came into the world with nothing, and left with nothing much of material worth behind. But she left a legacy.

Her selfless and sacrificial love for others was the one thing that everyone she knew saw in her. Though she was despised by many out of jealousy, even hit by her mother in law while pregnant, she chose to suffer in silence. Even near her end, she chose to bear her pain in silence, never wanting to cause her children any worry. For the sake of family unity, she would always choose to take the blame for every little dispute, pointing the finger at herself even when it had nothing to do with her at all. That was how she protected her children.

Having read Pastor Sivin Kit’s article in the FES newsletter on Jesus’ parable likening the Kingdom of God to yeast that is invisible but which works its way through the dough, I couldn’t help thinking how Grandma was a perfect example of the parable. She had no form of theological education or training, she never much served in any church ministry and she was never one who was very popular in church, but she fulfilled her responsibilities as a wife, mother and grandmother as best she could. She would do the house chores, even when she was ill. She would sacrifice her own well-being for the comfort of others. She would serve everyone she knew… even the house maid! And through her, the Kingdom of God broke into the family and into the world. Now, her legacy lives on – in her children and grandchildren who have been witnesses to her selfless love. I see the same kind of love in my own father and in my aunts. And though I fail on countless occasions, I hope to be like her one day…

I was told by Dad and my aunts that I had been her favorite grandchild. With both my parents working, she was the one who took care of me when I was young. I remember faintly her stroking my eyebrows to put me to sleep, fetching me back from school and occasionally to the barber. I still keep the toy dinosaur that she gave me a year before she died. My Dad even told me that my grandma loved me more than even he or my mom could. Of the little that she owned, the most valuable was a jade ring. Before she died, she gave the ring to my aunt to be kept, so that it would be passed to me when I grew older…

In loving memory of my grandma, Kuan Yuet Ngor, who passed away on 18 February 1996