The Conclusion to the Story...

Since we didn’t have a proper wrap-up for the final session yesterday, which I entitled ‘The Story We Find Ourselves in’ (my personal tribute to Brian D. McLaren!), I decided to write a letter to the committee members who are currently away at IF camp in Penang. Charis and Audrey did ask me to send an e-mail to them to share what I wanted to say. At first, I wasn’t sure if that would be the right thing to do. Anyway, I did it. Nick, my good friend who works in Penang, helped me to print a copy of the letter and passed it to Charis when he went to visit them at the camp. Thanks Nick! I’ll just let Charis decide what to do with it.

Hi!

I hope that all of you are enjoying IF camp and Penang so far! Meanwhile, I shall stay here and continue with my research. Work is just so wonderful… I pity you guys who have 7 weeks of holidays. =D Now that the students are away, I now have no worries about parking!!!! YAY!

Anyway, sorry I couldn’t wrap things up properly at the retreat. I have to admit that when I got home, I got so angry with God for making me spend 3 weeks preparing for it. Not to mention that I skipped Agnes’ grandmother’s funeral and woke up earlier on Sunday morning also. I quote Beatrice and Wee Liem: God sure does have a weird sense of humor. As I sit here typing, I’m just beginning to wonder if God did that just to show me that I have become too dependent on myself, again. Hmmm…

Just in case you are wondering what the diagrams and sentences in the remaining two pages are about, I have attached the conclusion of the session here. As usual, I ended up writing more than what I initially intended to say! Hahaha… By the way, I’m not sure how biblical the conclusion is. I may be wrong, and you have the right to disagree with me. It is for you to decide what to accept and what not to. Test them with the Word of God and with your own stories. The Holy Spirit will lead us into all truth.

Thank you for sharing your stories with the rest of us! I have learnt much from you guys! Thanks Audrey for planning the retreat. Thank you to those who prepared, drove, cooked and cleaned up.

For those who are graduating, good bye and keep in touch! For those who will still be in the CF, whether you are in the committee or not, I’m looking forward to working alongside you all, Annette and Dr Ian next academic year! God bless!


The Story We Find Ourselves in: The Conclusion…

All of us have our own life story. But when we take the time to listen to one another’s stories, we begin to realize that our story is just one of many other stories. Each story is unique. None are exactly the same. Yet, we find that our stories have many things in common. This is because our stories are all part of a larger story. All of us at one time or another became part of the larger story of the CF in MMU, Cyberjaya. It is in this story, where our life stories became entwined. It is in the CF where we appeared in each other’s stories, in which some of us end up playing significant roles. The story of the CF is just one small part of the larger story of the Church; the body of Christ. The story of the Church in turn, makes up one portion of the sweeping story of the world and the universe in which we live; the unfolding drama of creation, the fall and God’s redemption of the world.

We need to remember this. There is always the danger of being trapped in our own bubbles, as some of us shared, as if life is just about ‘me and God’. This is not true. The only thing God was not pleased about in all of creation was ‘that man should be alone’ (Genesis 2:18). If all that we are concerned about are our own life stories, we may end up becoming selfish people who care only about our own problems. It is as if everything is just about me and my problems. Other people become insignificant.

As leaders of the CF, we also need to remember that CFMMU is not the only or most important ministry on the planet. God is working in various other ministries all over the world, in other CFs and churches. CFMMU is just playing one small part. As Beatrice mentioned, we should not be competing with churches or other CFs. If a local church can take care of some of our members when we have failed to do so (and I am sure we have), then let us rejoice with them! If people decide to be more involved in their local church rather than the CF, let us be happy for them! If most of the Christians in the Malacca campus choose to stay back in Malacca, then let’s be thankful for it together with our sister CF! We need to look at the larger story of the Church and see what God is doing among Christians all over the world!

There is another danger here: that we become so caught up with the story of the Church that we forget our mission in the world. God did not call us out of the world to be part of a different story. He called us out of the world into a relationship with Him, so that he could send us back into the world. As the Church, as long as we remain alive, we are still part of the story of the world. Our mission is to continue Christ’s work here on earth; to share His love and good news to the world. Always remember, that our stories are all part of a larger story.

Our stories are messy. Becoming Christians did not make our lives any simpler. We only have to look at the story of the Church to see that we Christians can be the most messed up people on the planet. There were times when the early Christians were confused about what they believed. Was Jesus God? Was Jesus a man? It took four hundred years for the Church to finally decide that Jesus was both God and man and to come up with the doctrine of the Trinity. They went through great times of persecution. Scores of Christian men, women and children were tortured and executed for fun. When their power grew, the Christians turned persecutor and burned heretics on stakes. There were great divisions and disunity within the Church when they needed to stand together against the rising Islam. The Church split even when they were reaching out into new territories. Corruption became strife. We killed each other, all in the name of Jesus. The reformation resulted in vast, bloody wars between Catholics and Protestants. Even as all these things went on, the doctrines and beliefs of the Church were constantly revised. Yet, interspersed among these struggles, atrocities, and confusion we find stories of grace, love, revivals, missions, growth, and social activism. Whole nations came to believe in Christ. Christians played a major role in helping the needy, as well as in fighting against slavery and racism. It was the Church that founded schools and hospitals. The CF is no different. From our small beginnings in a basketball court, the story of the CF is a story of dilemmas, frustrations, persecution, conflicts, disunity and burn-outs. Among such negativity are stories of growth, multiplication, great friendships, wonderful memories and successful efforts in reaching out to the community.

We see the same patterns in our own life stories. There are good times. There are bad times as well. There are times when we don’t even know whether it is good or bad. We go through struggles and doubts. Sometimes, we do things we later regret. Our beliefs and ideas about faith and God change as we journey on in life. We still don’t have all the answers. We still don’t know the Bible as much as we would like to. Yet, we grow and we learn. There is much to be thankful to God for. The funny thing is that we can be struggling with relationships and doubts, and still be God’s instrument of change in the world. For some weird reason, God calls us to lead the CF even in the midst of such struggles. And we do not have to hide them just because we are leaders. We need not put on any masks. In a world where success depends so much on our reputation, self-confidence and ability to act strong, what the CF and the Church need are people who dare to be real and authentic; people who are not afraid to acknowledge that we are not there yet. Don’t we all appreciate it when our president admits that she cheated during the games? Or when our vice president admits that he is currently struggling with doubts? We are still on the way, as an individual, as a CF and as the body of Christ.

The Christian martyrs did not choose to be alive during those times of persecution. Neither did the Christians who lived during the dark ages and holy wars decide to appear in those eras. We cannot choose which part of the story we appear in. We did not choose to live in a time when churches are divided over homosexuality and abortion. We did not choose to be the leaders in CF during what Annette called the ‘dark night’ of the CF. We did not choose to be part of the CF at a time when personal conflicts abound and numbers seem to be decreasing. Whether we live in the golden era or dark ages of the CF and the Church, we just have to accept it. Let God decide. These are stages that imperfect stories will go through some time or another. We can, however, choose what we want to do about it.

When God created us, He allowed us to write our own stories. He gave us the freedom to decide what we want to do with our lives. We can choose to write our stories apart from Him, by doing whatever we want; or we can choose to write our stories together with Him, by living according to His will. More than that, God allows us to help Him write the larger stories. The stories of the Church and the CF are filled with countless men and women whom God used to make a difference. The apostles, St. Augustine, St. Francis, Martin Luther, Abraham Lincoln, Mother Theresa, Henri Nouwen, C. S. Lewis, Billy Graham are but a few of them. When we do our part in the Church and in the CF, we are helping God write the larger stories; not that God needs our help at all, rather it is just that He chooses to allow us do so, for some unknown reason.

Sometimes, our stories can be filled with bleakness and uncertainty. We don’t know where the Church is heading to. We do not know what is going to happen to the CF in the coming years. We don’t know what new directions our lives can take. Nevertheless, we need to have hope. We need to remember that God is in control of history and time. God is sovereign. He works throughout history and time. Through the bad times and the good times, God moves. Some of us have the idea that God is moving only when there are signs and wonders, revivals and when numbers in CF are growing. And if numbers are decreasing and problems are on the rise, then God is not moving. If the CF grows, God is working. If the CF does not grow, we assume that God is not working because the leaders are not doing His will. We need to shake off such simplistic views about God. He is not limited by any contrived condition, neither is he stumped by the things that are happening in the world or in the CF. He will make all things beautiful in His time in His own way, even if it means allowing us to go through tough times.

Our stories never end. For some of us, our part in the story of the CF has come to an end, but we are still very much a part of the story of the Church and of the World. We still have a role to play in these stories. In the meantime, God leads us into new stories, and our journeys continue. Even if we die tomorrow, we move into a new story, one we cannot even hope to imagine.

In Psalm 90, the psalmist contemplates on the fragility of life, while acknowledging the sovereignty of our eternal God. Life on earth is short. Let us be good stewards of this gift that God, in His grace, has bestowed upon us. Let us live life to the full, by writing our stories with God, and by being part of God’s dream for the World, the Church and the CF. No doubt our stories are messy, but may they continue to be testaments of God’s grace and faithfulness in our lives.