Troubled over What Lies Ahead
This morning, I woke up feeling troubled. I believe it is because of what lies ahead for me. I have a presentation coming up soon for the Center of Applied Electromagnetics (CAEM) where I am supposed to talk about my research. I also have to share about leadership in CF next week. I am not the kind of person who likes to be in the spotlight, so I do have a certain apprehension for public speaking.
Anyway, I have no choice for the CAEM presentation, as we take turns to present. I did have a choice for the sharing in CF. Leona asked me if I would like to be in charge of the activity for the AGM. I accepted it willingly. Now what have I done?! I could have avoided all these troubles and worries if I had just rejected it! Then again, I think this is a great opportunity for me to learn to preach and gain some experience in this area. Annette was talking about how I should grab opportunities to equip myself as an advisor by speaking more and going for workshops and training of such nature. Well, here comes my first training session!
Maybe I should thank God for this opportunity. Maybe I should not focus so much on what others will think of my sharing. Maybe I should not compare my sharing with those of other speakers. Maybe I should seek God’s approval more than the approval of men. Maybe I should trust God more. Maybe I should be more concerned about passing on God’s message rather than about how good my sharing is going to be. Maybe.
A man who is not stripped and poor and naked within his own soul will unconsciously tend to do the works he has to do for his own sake rather than for the glory of God. He will be virtuous not because he loves God’s will but because he wants to admire his own virtues. But every moment of the day will bring him some frustration that will make him bitter and impatient and in his impatience he will be discovered.
He has planned to do spectacular things. He cannot conceive himself without a halo. And when the events of his daily life keep reminding him of his own insignificance and mediocrity, he is ashamed, and his pride refuses to swallow a truth at which no sane man should be surprised.
Even the professionally pious, and sometimes the pious most of all, can waste their time in competition with one another, in which nothing is found but misery. ~ Thomas Merton
Anyway, I have no choice for the CAEM presentation, as we take turns to present. I did have a choice for the sharing in CF. Leona asked me if I would like to be in charge of the activity for the AGM. I accepted it willingly. Now what have I done?! I could have avoided all these troubles and worries if I had just rejected it! Then again, I think this is a great opportunity for me to learn to preach and gain some experience in this area. Annette was talking about how I should grab opportunities to equip myself as an advisor by speaking more and going for workshops and training of such nature. Well, here comes my first training session!
Maybe I should thank God for this opportunity. Maybe I should not focus so much on what others will think of my sharing. Maybe I should not compare my sharing with those of other speakers. Maybe I should seek God’s approval more than the approval of men. Maybe I should trust God more. Maybe I should be more concerned about passing on God’s message rather than about how good my sharing is going to be. Maybe.
A man who is not stripped and poor and naked within his own soul will unconsciously tend to do the works he has to do for his own sake rather than for the glory of God. He will be virtuous not because he loves God’s will but because he wants to admire his own virtues. But every moment of the day will bring him some frustration that will make him bitter and impatient and in his impatience he will be discovered.
He has planned to do spectacular things. He cannot conceive himself without a halo. And when the events of his daily life keep reminding him of his own insignificance and mediocrity, he is ashamed, and his pride refuses to swallow a truth at which no sane man should be surprised.
Even the professionally pious, and sometimes the pious most of all, can waste their time in competition with one another, in which nothing is found but misery. ~ Thomas Merton
posted by sojourner @ Monday, February 28, 2005
0 comments
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home