Be Thou My Vision

After the committee meeting tonight, I felt a little anxious. I had much difficulty in trying to pinpoint the cause of this anxiety. Am I concerned about the CF? Am I concerned about the issues that were raised during the meeting? Am I concerned about how some of the committee members were not satisfied with certain things and conclusions? Am I concerned about what I did wrong or right at the meeting? Am I concerned about what the committee thinks of me? I did feel a little awkward as the advisor. I was not sure of what I should or should not say. I guess it will take time for me to adjust to this new role. What should I do? What should I NOT do?

Amidst all the anxiety, this song kept playing in my heart. It still IS playing in my heart. We sang it in church today. It is a reminder to me to keep my eyes focused on God, as Nigel had reminded me a year ago during the committee retreat. Be Thou my vision, O Lord of my heart; not myself, not what I need to do as an advisor, and not the issues and concerns of the CF!

Be thou my vision, O Lord of my heart

Naught be all else to me save that thou art

Thou my best thought by day or by night

Waking or sleeping thy presence my light.

Be thou my wisdom, thou my true word

I ever with thee, thou with me, Lord

Thou my great Father, I thy true Son

Thou in me dwelling, and I with thee one.

Be thou my battle shield, sword for the fight

Be thou my dignity, thou my delight

Thou my soul's shelter, thou my high tower

Raise thou me heavenward, O power of my power.

Riches I heed not, nor man's empty praise

Thou mine inheritance, now and always

Thou and thou only, first in my heart

High King of heaven, my treasure thou art.

High King of heaven, after victory won

May I reach heaven's joys, O bright heaven's sun

Heart of my own heart, whatever befall

Still be my vision, O ruler of all.

Is God at the center of everything I do? Do I have my eyes fixed on Him? It is easy to be focused on other things, even ‘spiritual’ things like worship and Bible study. Does my worship and study of the Bible lead me to God, or does it end there? Do I like studying the Bible just for its own sake? Are my prayers and my songs always about me or are they truly reflecting an inner desire to adore God for who He is?