Thursday, June 30, 2005

The History of Christian Thought: The Middle Ages

Having resolved the issues of the divinity and nature of Jesus through the early ecumenical councils of the first millennium, the Christian theologians of the Middle Ages could now turn to other matters. Great thinkers and philosophers like Anselm, Abelard, Thomas Aquinas, Bonaventure and John Duns Scotus could now work on proving God’s existence, the nature of God, and the doctrine of salvation.

It was during these times, that the modern doctrine of salvation and Christ’s atonement would be developed. Based on the feudal system of the Middle Ages, Anselm came up with the idea of Christ dying on the cross for the atonement of sins. If a serf fails to obey his lord, he must make reparations to the lord. If he cannot do so, he is punished. So when we sin against God, we must pay back for our sins, but since we are unable to do so, Christ makes payment on our behalf by dying on the cross. On the other hand, for Abelard, salvation comes when Christ’s death inspires us to become better persons. Salvation is not about canceling what we have done in the past, but about God changing us for the future.

On the nature of God, Thomas Aquinas would subscribe to the ‘via negativa’ view of God developed by Gregory of Nyssa and Pseudo-Dionysius in earlier church history. According to them, God is infinite and thus cannot be known and expressed in human terms. No statement we make about God is true about Him. For example, if we say that God is good, we do not actually describe God, because God transcends all our notions of goodness. We can only say what or who He is not. John Duns Scotus disagreed, and believed that God does not transcend comprehensibility. Rather, He possesses these qualities that we describe Him with to an unparalleled degree. We say that God is good, and He is indeed good according to our understanding of the word. But God is so good that it is unparalleled.

The argument is devastating. And the dispute between Aquinas and Scotus illustrates one of the most fundamental problems facing theology. If, like Aquinas, we say God is so great that He transcends the universe and the categories that apply to it; if He is not a thing like other things but existence itself, through which all else exists; then can we say or know anything about Him at all? Does the claim even make sense? Is it not, to all intents and purposes, no different from atheism? But if, like Scotus, we say that God is comprehensible, that he shares recognizable earthly qualities to a supreme degree, then is He really God? ~ Jonathan Hill, The History of Christian Thought

It’s also interesting to note that Christian thinkers like Thomas Aquinas were influenced by Islamic theologians like Avicenna and Averroes. The rediscovery of the works of Aristotle by the Muslims had a huge influence on Christian thought during this era too.

At the end of the Middle Ages, politics and power-plays would become so common in the church that at one time, there were three popes trying to excommunicate each other! Two figures would emerge to challenge the authority of the popes, as well as to pave the way for a huge makeover in Christian ideology. John Wycliffe and Jan Hus would influence later reformers with very controversial ideas; that scripture should be the sole authority, and that the common people should be able to read the Bible instead of relying on the priests.

This was new. All Christians, of course, from the Fathers on, believed the Bible to be wholly true and inspired; but the idea that the Bible could be an independent source of truth apart from the church was a novelty, not found in the Fathers. It would be central to the Reformation. ~ Jonathan Hill, The History of Christian Thought

So here we have the beginnings of the doctrine of ‘Sola Scriptura’, where the Bible is the sole authority. I still cannot accept it though. For one, the Bible itself does not claim to be the sole authority. If we believe it to be so, we are still holding on to a ‘tradition’ or doctrine that came about only during this era. Sola Scriptura itself is not a ‘biblical’ doctrine. Another thing is that many of us Christians think that the Bible is the source of all our theology, when in fact, a lot of our beliefs (such as on the doctrine of the Trinity and the divinity of Jesus) are actually Church tradition. So there is always both, plus experience and rationality as well.

Monday, June 27, 2005

Book Meme

Being relatively new to the world of blogging, I had no idea what a meme was when John See told me that he had tagged me with a book meme. I am supposed to answer the questions and tag another 3 people so that they will in turn answer the same questions. So here are my answers:

Total Number of Books Owned:

Seriously, I have no idea! If I include bible study guides, magazines and comics, I still don't think it reaches 500 though.

Last Book I Bought:

Like John See, I bought 4 books together the last time. I can't remember which book left the counter last, but I think the last book I picked up was 'Mother Teresa: In My Own Words' by Mother Teresa and Jose Gonzalez-Balado.

Last Book I Read:

I just read 'The History of Christian Thought' by Jonathan Hill in the toilet this morning.

5 books that mean a lot to me, in no particular order:

1. Alfred Edersheim's 'The Life and Times of Jesus the Messiah', along with a Bible study seminar by Ada Lum, helped me to see the Jesus that I never knew; a Jesus that was totally human, yet totally divine; a Jesus that had emotions and so much love. This is a treasure of a book, and in my opinion, the best commentary I have ever read on the gospels. It has helped me time and time again as I prepare for Bible studies on the gospels, providing all the background information needed on first century Jewish culture, and by helping me to see Jesus from different perspectives. I actually found myself being transported back into first century Palestine on countless occasions while reading it.

2. Henri J. M. Nouwen's 'In the Name of Jesus: Reflections on Christian Leadership', among all the other books that I have read on Christian leadership, stands out as being the most profound and thought provoking. With simplicity and humility, Henri Nouwen draws from his experiences at L'arche, to talk about the temptations that leaders face, and what it really means to be a Christian leader. This book has been a source of inspiration to me many times when God has put me in leadership positions.

3. Brian McLaren's 'A New Kind of Christian' trilogy (ok, I know I’m cheating here!) turned my views about Christianity upside down. No other set of books have had such an impact on my journey as a Christian, sweeping me off into exciting new territories and adventures with God, opening up my eyes to see the bigger picture of what it really means to follow Christ.

4. Stephen Hawking's 'A Brief History of Time' introduced me to the exciting and mysterious world of cosmology, where fact is stranger than fiction! It even helped to affirm that science has never been in conflict with faith. I have been a fan of Hawking’s writings ever since.

5. Michael Crichton's 'Jurassic Park' marked my coming of age, as I shifted my reading of children’s books to full-fledged novels more than 10 years ago. I remember reading this novel almost 10 times, being a dinosaur fanatic. It would pave the way for me to enter the world of science fiction and fantasy novels like Dune, Lord of the Rings, as well as works by Philip K. Dick, Joe Haldemann, Alfred Bester and much more.

Tag, you’re it! This book meme has been passed on to
kath (You name it), tehka, and Phd in Bluffology!

Thursday, June 16, 2005

The History of Christian Thought: The Byzantine Empire


I have one word here: schism.

The Westerners were increasingly irritated at the Easterners’ refusal to accept the total authority of the pope. The Easterners, for their part, were incensed by the West’s stubborn insistence that the Spirit proceeds from the Son as well as the Father, an innovation that went back to Augustine. Not only did the Catholics hold this erroneous teaching, they had the audacity to insert it into the Nicene Creed, supposedly the very bulwark of their faith. The inferior scholarship of the West meant that the Latins, for their part, genuinely believed that the doctrine was in the Nicene Creed and that the Greeks had erased it. ~Jonathan Hill, The History of Christian Thought.

There were a series of condemnations and counter-condemnations between the Western Roman Catholic Church and the Eastern Orthodox Church that formed the core of the Byzantium Empire.

Influenced by mystics like Symeon the New Theologian, hesychast monks used breathing exercises to achieve mental calm, repeated short prayers over and over again, and adopted particular bodily positions. The practices were quite similar to Eastern meditation or yoga and resulted in a self-hypnotic state of heightened awareness in which the mystic could hope to see God. Opponents of the practice, such as Barlaam, argued that only the mind can come to see God. They appealed to the tradition, going back to Origen, that the mind is the true part of human nature, the part that is like God, and to see God we must rise above bodily things. Prayer should be a mental affair with no contribution from the body at all.

For Palamas, the body is not a discardable appendage to the mind, like a coat that can be removed at death. On the contrary, it is an essential part of human nature. Palamas therefore distances himself from the Origenist, and Neoplatonic, idea that the body is somehow the cause of sin. He is much closer to the Syrian, and biblical tradition of viewing human nature in an integrated way, without drawing a clear line of separation between body and soul. So it is entirely appropriate that the body should have a part to play in prayer, and Palamas points out that the Orthodox tradition regards bodily posture during prayer as an important matter. It reflects the presence of Christ in the person who prays, not just in their mind but throughout their whole person. ~Jonathan Hill, The History of Christian Thought.

For us, we would think that the early Christians were arguing over small matters, just like how the early church fathers argued about whether Christ had two natures or one nature. And we often wonder why they even bothered to do it at all! But for them, these issues were very important matters because it affected the crux of their faith; their doctrines of salvation:

Hesychasm then, is central to Palamas conception not only of human nature but of salvation itself. He defends the practice so vigorously because he considers its opponents to be attacking the doctrine of the incarnation, a doctrine that for Palamas revolves around the body of Christ. ~Jonathan Hill, The History of Christian Thought.

It would be like our doctrine of salvation by believing that Christ died for us was being attacked and debated! Of course, no one had such notions then. To them, they had an entirely different view of how salvation is to be obtained. These debates and arguments would cause huge schisms in the church. The first one arose during the time of the early church fathers between the Nicene church (churches that held firmly to the Nicene Creed) and the Coptic churches (churches that did not agree with the Nicene Creed). The second one was called the Great Schism, that saw the Roman Catholic Church break off from (or excommunicate, depending on which side you were on) the Orthodox Church in the East These schisms would pave the way for an unhealthy pattern that would plague the Church throughout its history.

Tuesday, June 14, 2005

History of Christian Thought: The Church Fathers


Many readers will perhaps be puzzled by the appearance of a book with this title. What exactly is Christian thought? And why should we be bothered about its history? We might think, after all, that most Christian doctrine is to be found in the Bible, especially the New Testament, and that all Christian writers have ever done is explain it to their contemporaries. Why study the ways in which they explained it in the past? In fact, the study of the history of Christian thought is both important and fascinating in its own right. If you are a Christian yourself, then you should certainly be interested in why Christianity teaches the things that it does. It may be true that the essentials of Christianity are taught in the New Testament, but the way we read the New Testament today is the product of centuries of speculation and development. And the thought of those who have reflected on the Christian faith in the past remains a treasury of inspiration to those doing the same thing now. ~ Jonathan Hill, The History of Christian Thought

I have been reading about the history of Christian ideas and how some of what we Christians believe came to be and evolved through the ages. Now that I’ve finished the first section of the book, ‘The Church Fathers’, which details some of the theological developments of the first 500 centuries of Christianity, I would like to note down some things that I found interesting.

This part of the book gives an overview of the lives of some of the greatest Christian thinkers of all time, together with their ideas and how their ideas influenced the Christian world not only in their time, but today as well. Church fathers like Justin Martyr, Irenaeus, Tertullian, Origen, Athanasius, Gregory of Nyssa, Augustine of Hippo and Cyril of Alexandria were important Christian thinkers of their time who struggled through issues like humanity, evil, God, the divinity of Jesus and the Trinity. Sometimes we take these ideas for granted, as if the Bible is so clear on such matters. We talk about it as if they are so easy. But these people really went through a hard time trying to express their ideas and thoughts. It took about 400 years for Christians to finally decide on what we casually refer to as orthodoxy. Justin Martyr, for example, believed only in a duality, and only argued for the divinity of Jesus. It was because it never occurred to the Christians at that time that the Holy Spirit could be God! Origen argued for a Trinitarian view, but held that God the Father is superior to the Son, who is superior to the Holy Spirit. It was Augustine of Hippo whose thinking most influenced orthodox Christian views. We still hold on to much of his ideas about the Trinity, original sin and God’s grace. What I can see here is that not everything we believe as Christians come from the Bible alone. Some of them came about through hundreds of years of Christian thinking, interpreting and rationalizing. So we as Christians need to be careful next time we say we believe something because ‘the Bible says so’. Sometimes, it is just what we believe the Bible says. Even though truth is absolute, our interpretations of the Bible may not be absolute.

On the whole, Christians had focused on God’s relationship to humanity in general, not to individual human beings. Most people did not have a strong sense of personal individuality. To ancient Christians, it is humanity as a whole – or the Church – that is saved; the individual believer is saved by being a member of that group, not through personal merits or qualities. Augustine changed all that. The emphasis on the individual’s emotional and spiritual voyage and relationship to God and others would become so central in Western thought that it is hard to imagine a world without it. In the West, in the hands of the medievals and the Reformers, Christianity would become a religion of the individual. Even modern Western philosophy and science rest ultimately on this strong distinction between the subjective self and the objective world that the self experiences and observes. ~ Jonathan Hill, The History of Christian Thought

What interests me also is how much Greek philosophy such as Platonism and Stoicism affected Christian ideas. Our dividing reality into the physical realm and spiritual realm is so very Greek! Even the word ‘Logos’ or ‘the Word’ used in John’s gospel had its roots in Greek ideas about God. So I think a lot of us Christians need to be more careful next time whenever we accuse another Christian of being influenced by modern philosophies and thinking. Much of our beliefs had their roots in ancient culture and philosophies as well! There is no doubt that our culture and philosophy will influence our interpretation of the Bible, even though some of us may believe that the Bible is the sole authority.

Another curious thing is how much politics, hatred and subversion tainted much of the councils and the development of Christian theology. To think that a bishop who ordered a follower of the city government to be tortured publicly, ordered his supporters to attack Jewish synagogues, whose followers dragged a female opponent into the church before stripping her naked, tearing her to pieces and burning her remains, can be responsible for an important theological contribution is simply quite astounding. It’s funny to see one council attacking the beliefs of a previous council with each having their own sets of supporters. And not everyone agreed with the creeds and doctrines laid out through those councils. Those bishops who didn’t agree, or who formed their own movements were normally exiled. So we also need to be careful the next time we say that the books of the Bible were chosen by ‘godly Christians’ who were sensitive to the Spirit of God when deciding on the Bible canon. Politics were involved. Majority votes, tradition and apostolic succession were also involved. God does sometimes work through ‘not so godly people’!
Just some thoughts...

Thursday, June 09, 2005

Brother George

Kat and I went for the ‘people helper’ course yesterday and Rev. David gave a lecture on handling stress. However, I will always remember yesterday’s session for a testimony that one of the church members shared on how he handled a stressful situation. He was an old man, and looked to be in his sixties. Pastor called him Brother George. He spoke in a raspy voice, and we found it really difficult to try to understand what he was saying, but what I was able to hear and understand filled me with admiration for him. We learnt that he spoke in this manner because he had cancer, and the ravages of the disease have left him with damaged vocal chords. I cannot remember his exact words, but I can remember the firm and strong way in which he spoke, as if he really believed every word he said. It went something like this:

When the doctor told me that I had cancer, and that I may not have much time to live, my son was about to go to Australia to further his studies. I knew it would affect him, so I knew that we had to work this out as a family. The first thing we did was to think about the worst case scenario. What will be the worst thing that could happen? I will die. But everyone dies. It’s just a matter of when. So it is not an issue. It’s not your problem. It’s not my problem. It’s God’s problem. It’s not an issue. Next will be my son. If I die, he will have more money than if I am alive. I have life insurance. So, it is not an issue as well. Thirdly is my wife. She can always find another boyfriend (We could see he was joking here, and we all laughed). So it is not an issue as well. So what should we do? I believed I needed to fight. And I needed my family to fight with me. We will pray, find the best doctor, and find a cure. I told my wife: I need to fight. And I need you to fight with me. If every time I see you, you cry, it makes me cry too, and I become weak. Please, I need you to be strong. Then I can be strong too. We can fight it together.

15 years down the road, by God’s grace, Brother George lives on and fights on. What a wonderful testimony. But what touched me most was not that God extended his life, surprising even his doctors. It was his inner strength, his courage, and most of all his faith. I wonder if I will be able to handle it this well in such adversity. It’s not about being afraid to die. It’s about the people I leave behind. How will they take it; my parents; Agnes? Colin shared about similar sentiments the other day over dinner. Annette was right though, when she asked this question: Don’t you think that God can take care of them?

Wednesday, June 08, 2005

Pathways to Spirituality, Part II: Sacred Pathways

Another problem that is raised in the session notes is that the standard advice we give on spiritual formation is this: develop a 30-minute quiet time every morning, worship every Sunday, get busy and serve God. The assumption is that all these will help us to grow spiritually. The fact is, ‘doing’ does not equal ‘being’. We give everyone a one-size-fits-all spirituality. How many people end up doing ‘devotions’ (our formulaic version of it) daily? The consequence is that our devotions become irregular, routine or stale. We then start to feel guilty and become spiritually empty.

Why should everyone be expected to love God in the same way anyway?

Good question. So this author called Gary Thomas proposes nine sacred pathways; ways in which we can relate to God and draw near to Him. I am sure that there are more ways than as proposed by Gary Thomas, but I think this is a good list. It helps to be able to appreciate the fact that there are people who will be able to draw near to God in different ways.

Naturalists: loving God out of doors
Sensates: loving God with all five senses
Traditionalists: loving God through rituals and symbols
Ascetics: loving God in simplicity and solitude
Activists: loving God through confrontation
Caregivers: loving God by loving others
Enthusiasts: loving God with mystery and celebration
Contemplatives: loving God through silent adoration
Intellectuals: loving God with the mind

After doing the test at the end of the session notes, I found that I scored highest for Naturalist, followed by Intellectual and Ascetic. Well, I think it’s quite true, but I guess I shall not limit myself to how I can draw near to God! Maybe these are the best ways in which I can draw near to Him, but I sure would like to try out some of the others (becoming an activist is really too much for me though…I scored really low for that one… haha)!

Pathways to Spirituality, Part I: The Problems We Face

John See shared with me quite a bit about his church family camp recently. With a theme as interesting as ‘Pathways to Spirituality’ (for me at least!), I couldn’t resist borrowing his copy of the session notes. When he passed me a blue file with his name printed on it, I was impressed! Each camp participant actually got personalized files! It took me about 4 or 5 days before I finally opened the file up to read it yesterday. I was too busy I guess. The notes were actually lecture slides that have been printed out. I couldn’t understand what some of the pictures inside were for (like one depicting the famous David sculpture, with his groin area censored!), but I think I have a rough idea of what some of the brief notes are about. Here are some good points that I can draw out from it…

God’s blueprint for Ministry (Ephesians 4:11-13)
--------------------------------------------------
The ‘Doing’ part:
to prepare God’s people for works of service = working for God

The ‘Being’ part:
reaching unity in faith… becoming mature… attaining to the whole measure of the fullness of Christ = walking with God

The speaker seems to be trying to show that there needs to be a balance between what we do as Christians and what we are. He says: We must develop hidden depths in our spiritual life because it is the depth and quality of our inner life that will determine the strength and beauty of our outward service. He mentions some of the problems that we Christians face today, and I couldn’t agree more with it.

Our Problems
---------------
- Good at ‘foundation’; poor at ‘formation’
- We assume doctrinal knowledge guarantees spiritual growth
- We wrongly equate productivity with spirituality
- We assume that the more fervently members immerse themselves into doing God’s work (the ‘doing’ part), the more productive they will become, and the more they will mature in faith and spirituality (the ‘being’ part)

I think a lot of us make this mistake of equating Bible knowledge or serving in church with spiritual formation. I have sometimes come across Christians whom when I asked them about their walk with God, they answered by sharing about the ministries that they were involved with in church. We confuse our works of service to God with our inward growth. A person’s involvement in church becomes a gauge for that person’s spirituality. The more he gives and the more he serves, the more he loves God. I would like to add to the list with some other problems that I thought of.

- We fall into the trap of gauging a person’s spirituality by outward appearances, e.g. people who never miss church, people who close their eyes and lift their hands when they worship God, people who read the Bible and pray every night, people who speak in tongues or prophesy, are assumed to be more spiritually mature.
- We assume that to help a person grow spiritually, all we have to do is just to tell them what to do and what not to do, what is right and what is wrong, what is true and what is false.
- We create false dichotomies, and assume that serving in church is more ‘spiritual’ than working at the office, reading the Bible is more ‘spiritual’ than watching a movie, listening to Christian songs are more ‘spiritual’ than listening to love songs on the radio, going to church is more ‘spiritual’ than going for shopping or playing sports.

Spiritual formation is about developing the ‘hidden depths’ of our inner life so that prayer, for example, is not just an occasional coming to God with a list of requests, but the posture of our whole being in daily communion with God.

Tuesday, June 07, 2005

The Weekend That Was...

Busy, busy, busy… So much that needs to be done! I haven’t been able to find time to update my journal lately. Looks like I will have to wait for another opportunity to write down my thoughts on the recent conversation with Kat, as well as N. T. Wright’s ideas on the afterlife. I couldn’t do it during the weekend. After completing the research paper a few minutes ago, I can now type down thoughts and happenings in the last few days. It’s been a really eventful weekend, and I will organize them chronologically.

I am glad that I managed to join Colin and Agnes for dinner on Friday evening. Colin brought a surprise visitor along too! It was good to see Annette again after a long while. I haven’t seen her since CF meetings ended last semester. Over dinner, we joked around and talked about people we knew. Annette also shared a little about things that are happening in student ministry. Listening about what some churches and pastors are trying to do these days made me feel really annoyed. Sigh… we Christians really seem to be shooting ourselves in the foot all the time, as Colin would say. I had to leave them early to meet the friend that I mentioned in my post 'Anger and Disappointment with Church' and to find out how she was doing. I hope that I will be able to find time in the future to follow up on her; to be a friend.

I had planned to bring Agnes down to Malacca to spend some time together, so we went on Saturday morning. We went to eat chicken rice-ball and satay celup, went shopping and even had time to go to the Malacca Zoo. We also had our portraits drawn at Kota A’ Famosa. Well, Agnes got a little disappointed that her portrait didn’t really look like her. ‘Who is this girl you were with?’ she would ask me occasionally.

Her parents and brother came down for her brother’s registration in MMU on Sunday, so we had lunch and dinner together before I drove back to KL at night. Even Stacey and her boyfriend came down from Singapore for a one day trip! This trip really got my mind off this research paper that I had to write. I just savored the moments together with Agnes. I really enjoyed the two days spent with her. When I arrived back in KL, for once, I actually felt ‘the blues’ of having to go to work the next day! Usually I would look forward to going to campus. Not this time. There is this lousy paper to write.

Yesterday was filled with busyness, as I got down to writing the paper. I couldn’t finish it on time so I e-mailed my boss for a deadline extension. I rushed home so that I could return Alvin Bong his drill that I borrowed. I then took a bath, went to Agnes’ place for dinner (her mom made dumplings for her!) and then rushed to SK for Bible study. I think Glen and Robert are starting to find their place in the Bible study group. Glen came for the third time, and Robert for the second time since last week. We decided to meet up for dinner tonight, so I am looking forward to having a chat with them later. Jane also invited her colleague, Yen Nee, along for the study!

I spent my whole day today trying to finish the paper. Now it’s done. Now I can think about the missions retreat, read some blogs, and organize my life. What a relief!

Friday, June 03, 2005

From God's Point of View

Agnes and I sat down (I was lying down on the bed actually) yesterday to prepare for the Bible study on Lamentations. I think it would have been a much more difficult book to study had I not read Walter Brueggemann’s ‘Spirituality of the Psalms’ last month. Maybe God was already preparing me to lead this session! I can only thank Him, of course. In a book where the theme is of anguish, sorrow and doubt, many of us Christians may find it somewhat unnerving. Aren’t Christians supposed to be happy and joyful all the time? What can we ever learn from laments such as this, where the closing stanzas are filled with bleakness, hopelessness and uncertainty?

In Lamentations, we see a man who is struggling to understand the things that are happening around him. We see a man who is struggling to understand God and his own faith. He begins by lamenting about the state of Jerusalem and its people. In the second chapter, he begins by accusing God, even calling God the ‘enemy’. It is as if he is saying to God, ‘Look what You have done!’ Deep in his heart though, the author knows why all these things have happened. He knows that God is punishing them for their sins. Yet, in his agonizing words, we see that the author is struggling to accept it. He questions God. He tries to affirm who God is. He goes back to the foundations of his beliefs about God. He tries to remember this wonderful God that he used to know, by rationalizing that maybe they are not totally destroyed because of God’s great love for them. He attempts to give hope to himself as well as the whole nation. The author calls the people to accept what God has done, and to repent of their sins. He even expresses anger at his enemies by asking the Lord to destroy them and to pay them back what they deserved. In chapter 4 however, the author reverts to lamenting for the people of Judah. Many of his thoughts are repetitive, and this only shows how deeply pained he is, as if he cannot get the thoughts out of his mind. In chapter 5, the author pleads all out to God to see them in their suffering; to take notice and to save them. He questions God again, and pleads for God to restore them. He ends though, with uncertainty:

…unless you have utterly rejected us and are angry with us beyond measure.

We were a little surprised at the ending. Laments in the Psalter often had better endings. The psalmists would usually end by giving thanks to God or affirming that God’s justice will prevail in the end. In Lamentations though, the ending is more negative. But there are many lessons here for us nevertheless. Suffering is real; Sadness and anguish are real feelings. There is nothing wrong in feeling sorrowful or angry. There will be times when we will struggle in our faith; when we cannot understand what God is trying to do. Sometimes things are so bad that we may know what God is trying to do but we may just find it so hard to accept. There are times when we are angry with God and we accuse Him. There are times when we are angry with others and we wish that God would just destroy them. What we can see in Lamentations is that the author is very honest about his feelings and struggles. We should learn to be real and honest with our feelings and our struggles as well. There is no need to pretend. Just as the author directs much of his lament to God, we should also learn to direct our thoughts and feelings to God. Cry out to Him; Talk to Him; even if we doubt that he might still listen to us. Don’t lose hope; strive on in the midst of these struggles; there will always be a glimmer of hope, no matter how faint it may be. Examine our own ways, just as the author did, because sometimes, we ourselves are the ones who are to blame.

Agnes and I noticed how the author seems to be accusing God sometimes, and we were discussing about whether it is alright to accuse God, when she brought up a very thoughtful point. I guess it is the way women are able to feel more and can often identify more with others. We men are often more ‘heady’ and tend to think more intellectually rather than use our feelings. But she asked, ‘How do you think God will feel, as a Father, when his own children accuse Him? Imagine a father trying to discipline his own children for their own good, because he cares for them. Instead of appreciating what the father does, the children misunderstand him and accuse him instead. How would he feel?’ Of course, our finite minds will never understand what an infinite mind will feel. But I think if we try to look at it from God’s point of view, we begin to see what He goes through in all this. I can imagine the heartache that He must have felt when the author accuses Him or becomes angry at Him. I believe that God knew how his people would react. I believe that God already knew that He would be accused and misunderstood. But what did it matter to Him? All He cared about was that His children would return to Him. All that He wanted was for them to turn from their evil ways. O how great the love of the Father is, that He would be willing to bear the heartache and accusations that would be leveled against Him, all because He wanted to bring back His children who have gone astray. How selfless the love of God is. I can’t believe that tears are welling up in my eyes as I type these words.

O God, there have been so many times when I have been angry at You. I have accused You. I have misunderstood You. Your mercy is great and You have been patient with me. Now I know how painful and difficult it must have been for You during all those times, not only when I have accused You, but when millions all over the world continue to misunderstand. I’m sorry Lord. I’m not worthy of Your great love. I’m sorry for all the heartache I’ve caused You. I don’t want to add to Your sorrows. Help me to learn to see things through Your eyes, and help me to learn to accept whatever comes my way. Let me be humble so that I will examine my own ways. Give me hope.