How Narrow and Rigid is Your Faith?

I happened to be browsing through Gim Han’s blog today and came across an entry which had the same title.

How rigid and narrow is your faith? When Annette posted this question to us during last week's bible, she immediately grabbed my attention. She went on to say that many Christians try to provide a lot of easy answers to many of the world's problems, which is not necessary. How do you know if you have a rigid and narrow faith? Well, if you are one of those people who find it hard to accept some of your friends who smoke and drink booze in clubs every weekend, or have a very condemning nature that complains about everything the CF fails to do, or even people who do not live like the way you do, then you have a very narrow and rigid faith. But instead, learn to have a faith that questions God and listen to Him, and that it's ok to struggle with what your beliefs are. When we struggle with things, we tend to listen to God better. True, some might drift further apart, but God, being God, would rather have us struggle and to learn rather than be complacent in our own comfort zone.

Another interesting note, drawing from her long experience as a full time worker at FES mentoring and guiding university students, she noticed that the people who are surviving well out there in the real working world, are usually the ones who questioned and struggled a lot about their faith. Pastor Kevin Loo of CHC too, echoed the same opinion sometime before. Those who were very passionate about God in their younger days do not necessarily finish the race better than the less passionate ones.

I tend to agree with Gim Han in a lot of matters. I find that many Christians today are very simplistic in their faith and thinking. Many of us just listen to whatever our pastors tell us and whatever we read without questioning it and finding out the truth for ourselves. We have ideas and views about what God is like and what Christianity is about without making a conscious effort to make informed choices on what to believe. We simply believe without questioning what we believe and why we believe. Any sort of questioning is considered taboo.

A lot of Christians also like to put God in a box. We have preconceived ideas on how God would and should act in certain situations. We also read God’s intentions into whatever happens around us when we don’t really know for sure. For example, many Christians saw the recent tsunami as God’s punishment on the ‘wicked’. But do we know for sure?

Are we too narrow, too rigid or too simplistic in our faith? Do we question what we believe? Do we question why we believe? Do we base our views on Christianity just by what our leaders say and think? Do we do our own research and thinking before coming to conclusions on certain matters? Can we accept that there will be people who will have views that will defer from our own? Do we force everyone to have the same views as us? Do we place God in a box? Do we limit God with our own rules and thinking?

The Darling of Heaven

We were singing in church today and in one of the songs, Jesus was called the ‘Darling of Heaven’. We don’t hear this very often in our songs and in church, but my heart melted every time we sang that line. I’m quite certain Jesus was never called that in the Bible, though I am not sure if there were any Hebrew equivalents. I do like that name very much, because of the sense of intimacy that it invokes.

Jesus was indeed the ‘darling of Heaven’, the beloved Son of YHWH, in whom He was so very pleased. I cannot ever imagine what God must have felt, when He saw His dear Son hanging on the cross, bleeding and in so much pain. Oh, how it must have shattered His heart when He heard his darling crying out to Him, ‘My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?’, knowing that He could do nothing to help His own Son. Not because he did not have the means to, but because of His love for the people of the world. It was His love for us that stayed His hand. It was His love that allowed Him to bear the pain of being separated from His Son; of having to turn away from His own Son at the hour of His greatest suffering. He knew how much it would hurt His Son, when for that tiny moment they would be separated because of the sins that Jesus bore. He knew how much His darling loved Him. He knew that His darling would obey Him. He knew that His darling would understand, because they were one. They had known each other so well. God must have been torn apart by both His love for His darling and His future darlings. It was because He knew, that one day, both of them would be wedded together - Christ and the church; the bridegroom and the bride; His beloved Son and His children whom He had called. Oh, what joy that day will be for the Father, to see His Son and the bride, joined together in eternity!

Dinner with Pastor Paul Landing and the Mission to Sarawak

Many of us from the mission team that went to Sarawak had the opportunity to meet up with Pastor Paul Landing last night. He had gone to Penang to attend John van Tonder’s wedding, and had stopped by in KL for one night before flying back to Sarawak today. Pastor Paul was the pastor of a small SIB church in Julau when we went to Sarawak for the mission trip. He was our contact there who arranged for our accommodation and traveling. He brought us all around Julau as well as to remote villages in the surrounding area. I will always remember him as a very dedicated, humble, and sometimes cheeky pastor who lived a simple life. We still kept in touch once in a while, but we had never seen him in person ever since we came back from the mission trip in April last year.

So we managed to catch up with him during dinner at Restoran Talipon, and find out about God’s ministry in Sarawak. Pastor Paul is now the district superintendent for the SIB in Sarikei, while Pastor Kanyan is the pastor in Ijit. Roland, Pastor Paul’s firstborn son, is now in standard one, and he is actually attending a Chinese school!

Pastor Paul came together with three other friends of his – Pastor Pudun (the pastor in charge of the BM service in Subang AOG), Pastor Along (a new pastor working with Pastor Paul), and Pastor Sinawant (another pastor from Sarawak). We all listened intently as they shared about the wonderful and miraculous things that God was doing in Sarawak. There were accounts of amazing miracles; of people being healed, of people having visions and prophecies; and of people speaking in other tongues. It was great to be able to hear these accounts from people who experienced them first hand. Pastor Pudun shared with me about his love of reading and I promised to bring him to Pustaka SUFES one day when we were both free!

This morning, I couldn’t help looking back at the pictures we had taken during the mission trip. They do bring back a lot of fond memories. I will always remember the long boat rides in the midst of beautiful forests, the times when we had to get off and push the boats in shallow water, the heart-warming hospitality of the Iban villagers, their unique style of cooking, and the cicadas that invaded the church every night. Most of all, I will always remember the friendships forged and the many lessons we could learn from the pastors there, who were willing to give up so much to serve the Lord and the people. It was not an easy task being a pastor in Sarawak. Due to the lack of manpower, most of them had overwhelming responsibilities. They had to travel alone to remote villages for long periods of time and spend weeks away from their families. They had to know how to steer and control longboats and maneuver through treacherous rapids. They had to attend and care for people who were suffering from extreme poverty, diseases, demonic attacks and much more. I remember being totally humbled and in awe of what these pastors were willing to sacrifice and go through for these people. Only the love of God can enable a man to remain so faithful in such a task, and it is for their love of God that I will always remember Pastor Paul Landing and Pastor Kanyan.

Why Should We Pray?

Why should we pray? Ask this question to a group of Christians and you will get a myriad of answers. Prayer changes things. Prayer moves mountains. We should pray because prayer will bring us closer to God and will build our relationship with God. Prayer is critical for anything we do because prayer brings God into the picture and allows God to work. Prayer moves the hand of God. Prayer does the things our hands cannot do. Prayer allows us to bring all of our deepest needs and emotions to God. Though all these responses are different, they all have one thing in common. All of them emphasize the importance of prayer, and what it brings. But should we pray only because of its usefulness? Should the importance of prayer be the only motivation for us to pray?

I was reading Henri J. M. Nouwen’s book called ‘The Road to Daybreak’ today. One of my favorite authors, Nouwen has inspired millions of Christians all over the world with his thoughtful and profound words. Though he writes from a Catholic perspective, I find the wisdom, humility and transparency in his writing very uplifting. I have no doubts at all that he is an amazing servant of God. In ‘The Road to Daybreak’, his personal journal in the year that he moved to a community for the handicapped, he wrote about ‘useless prayer’ in one of his entries. He was struggling with the same question – Why should I pray? And this was his conclusion:-

If I believe that the first commandment is to love God with my whole heart, mind and soul, then I should at least be able to spend one hour a day with nobody else but God. The question as to whether it is helpful, useful, practical or fruitful is completely irrelevant, since the only reason to love is love itself. Everything else is secondary.

Now who would have thought of that? I spend a lot of time with Agnes. I enjoy spending time with her and talking to her. Why should I talk to Agnes? I don’t find myself asking this question! No doubt that spending time together is important in building our relationship, but is that why I spend so much time with her - because it is important and useful? I talk to her simply because I love her. It is simply because I want to talk to her and I enjoy talking to her. The implications are clear. If I really love God, then I should pray because I want to and because I enjoy it. Whether it is useful or important or fruitful is completely irrelevant.

The Great Outdoors

What a wonderful day! Bob, Tehka, Ow, Madeline and I had the opportunity to visit the Malaysia Agricultural Park in Shah Alam. We rented bicycles and cycled all around the place. The whole park was huge, and we only managed to explore less than a third of the park. Nevertheless, we were able to enjoy the beauty and serenity of it all. Large trees shaded us from the hot afternoon sun as strong breezes blew against our faces. Little streams winded their way all across the park, home to various species of freshwater fish.

We cycled all the way to the furthest fishing spot that they had; a quiet little place called the Sungai Baru Dam. We realized then that we were not allowed to fish as we had no fishing rods. We went on to fish illegally anyway, using just fishing lines and hooks. We had not brought any bait, but managed to dig up a few worms from a patch of soil nearby. I let Tehka and Bob do all the work and enjoy all the fishing. For me, I was content to just lie down on a wooden platform floating on the shore of the dam, gaze up into the sky, enjoy the breeze that kept on blowing across the dam, and listen to the rustling of the leaves. I had never felt this sort of peace and quiet for a long, long time. I have always enjoyed and loved nature. In recent times though, I have had less and less opportunities to do so. Anyway, I appreciated this little time that I had, and was so grateful when Ow volunteered to cycle back to a stall we had passed on the way there to get some snacks.

It was definitely a tiring day, especially with all the uphill cycling that we had to do. I have never had good stamina in the first place. Bob and Tehka never caught any fish, but we went back contented. I was sure that I would go back to that place if ever I had the chance again. There is something about nature and wild places that fascinates me. I can always hear it calling out to me; every time I see photographs of beautiful landscapes, or whenever life becomes so filled with busyness that my heart longs for an escape; an escape into the great outdoors…

Vision and Continuity

Yesterday night, as I went through my bookshelves looking for a book to read, I stumbled upon a booklet which I had read quite a while ago. This booklet, entitled ‘Vision and Continuity’, was given to me by Annette. Though only 30 pages long, it is a treasure chest full of gems and insights into what student ministry really means and why it is so vital in the world today. It contains a series of essays and interviews in which pioneers and forerunners of student movements all over the world share their visions and dreams as well as their insights on student ministry.

Reading through the booklet for a second time, I felt a stirring in my heart again today. It is the same stirring that I had felt more than a year ago; the same stirring that had moved me to decide to serve God in FES and be part of what God is doing among university students. I could sense a sort of connection with the authors of the essays in that we shared similar passions and similar visions, though theirs was of a more regional and global scale. Though my concerns a year ago were more local and limited to the CF in MMU, I could understand and identify with their cry for a new generation of leaders who would have the same clear vision as its founders, yet are sensitive to what the Spirit is doing in their own generation; leaders who would hold on to the foundations that their predecessors held on to, yet are able to adapt to face new times and new challenges. Their cry for the vision of the forerunners to be passed on, as well as continuity, is echoed by my own heart as I look at the CF today.

An article written by Professor Samuel Escobar impacted me so much that I feel I should type a portion of it in here:

One of the great dangers of student work, as of many other aspects of Christian activity, is that it may become an institution in which the vision is lost and new generations continue with the motions but without the spirit of the movement. There is a name, there is financial support, there is a program, but people are not possessed by the same vision of the founders. They simply keep a tradition driven more by inertia than by a fresh sense of direction and the compulsion of the Spirit of God. Eventually discouragement sets in, impetus is lost and the movement confronts a crisis or what is worse, extinction.

It is people who have vision. A vision is contagious, and it is transmitted by people to people. While vision can be articulated on paper or tape, transmitting it will always involve people, because a vision becomes something that possesses you, a dream in which you believe with all your heart and strength. It is people who embody visions. Transmission of vision involves people discipling other people. Opportunities in which the leaders and the pioneers can have in-depth encounters with the new generations should be sought.

Learn to see student work as part of a wider reality: God’s people and God’s kingdom. This gives us a sense of history and makes us humble. There is always the danger of seeing only our corner of God’s work as the most important, strategic and worth of attention and support. That is only one step away from sectarianism.

Within the larger framework of God’s kingdom, we have to grasp clearly the specific responsibility of our own generation. When a movement grows and succeeds, it is because some people grasped God’s eternal purpose and saw how it could become an operative reality in their own day, time and setting. Continuity will not mean a servile mechanical repetition of the motions of the past generation, but a grasping of a large vision and an awareness of the particular moment in which each generation lives.

I have always wondered if my desire to be involved in student work was borne of God or if it was just a passing whim. Back then, I had prayed that God would make a way for me if that was what He was calling me to do. When my parents opposed my decision strongly, I began to have doubts. Now I am not sure. After hearing what God has to say to me recently, I would think that there is a possibility that it could be real; that maybe God IS calling me into student ministry, but probably not in the way that I thought it would be.

I am fully aware and convinced that the students will always be the workers in the front lines, and it will always be the students who will be leading the CF and making decisions. If that is the case, what role will graduates and university staff play in the student movement? If God is calling me to be a part of His work in MMU, for now at least, then what role do I have to play here? Has He already given me that task - the Bible study group on Thursdays? Or is there more to come?

In light of recent events in which some of the current leaders and members have come to me to ask for suggestions and opinions, many other questions have popped up in my mind. How involved should I get in the CF activities? In what way will the lessons that God has taught me in the CF be of help to the CF members? Do they need my help at all? How much influence will I have on the students in CF? Should I even try to influence anyone at all? How can I serve them? In what way can I be an example to them? Where do I draw the line regarding my involvement? Where do I draw the line regarding what I do in the CF and what I say to the leaders, so that the role of students as the frontline workers, leaders and decision makers will not be compromised?

I have this gut feeling that I should bring all these questions to Annette when I have an opportunity. I believe that maybe God has something to say to me through her, with her God-given wisdom and her years of experience in student ministry. As I am writing this, a passing thought just came to me – why did Annette pass that booklet to me in the first place?

Trusting in God Our Refuge

Uncle Dexter, the church elder in Shah Alam gospel center, was invited to speak in CF today on ‘God our refuge’. Though he shared a lot of points and referred to a lot of Bible verses, what really stood out for me was a question that he asked:-

If we can trust God with our salvation, which concerns our eternal fate and is of the utmost importance, why can’t we trust God in the temporal matters which mostly have no eternal consequence and is of much less importance?

It is a very profound question, and it’s something that I have never thought about before. I wonder…

The Little Things that Matter

I had the opportunity to meet up with Joseph for lunch today. Joseph was the CF vice president when I was serving as the president, and is still the current vice president. We have enjoyed a lot of one on one chats in the past, and this time, we were able to talk about things ranging from girls, to CyberChristmas to issues in CF. I really enjoyed working with him last year, mainly because I believe our personalities and opinions really complemented each other. I have always been the gentle and compliant type, whereas he was always more direct and more firm. He was the more active and the more upfront kind of leader, while I am the more passive and prefer to work behind the scenes. Anyway, he always had something to say about things. No doubt I do not always agree with him on certain matters, but he has helped me many times before to see things in a different light.

One thing that I can remember from this little talk with him was this point that he brought up. Sometimes, as leaders, we come up with various strategies and plans to move our ministry into a particular direction, or to address a certain concern. We have big ideas, big plans and big dreams. However, do these methods and strategies always work? We have speakers come and talk about particular issues that we want to address, but does it work?

Joseph and I agreed that sometimes, it is the little things that work better. The little things that we do as individuals, the little things we say and the little time we spend just by being there. If we want the CF to be united, will inviting speakers to talk about unity help at all? Or will it be the little time spent together as CF members, encouraging one another and helping one another? Will it be the times spent together working towards a shared goal like CyberChristmas? How much can a sermon affect the CF? How long can we remember a particular sermon anyway?

We only had to look at Annette as an example of this principle. By now, I cannot remember most of her sermons in CF. However, I will always remember her character, her example, the Bible studies we had and the little chats we had. I cannot remember anyone else who has had such a profound influence on my life. But what made her such an influence and a great mentor to me was not her sermons and workshops. It was just by her being around, doing the simple and little things that she did.

Many times, we want to have big roles and do big things in God’s kingdom. We look at popular evangelists and leaders and sometimes wished that we could be like them. Just like James and John, we want to have the best seats next to God. We have big dreams. We have big visions. But Jesus reminded us that it is the lowly who will be exalted.

Could it be, that as God is leading me into something new, He wants to let me know that it will be the little things that I do that will really matter? Could it be that God is calling me into a role where I will just be doing the little things? I will wait patiently on Him as He reveals His purposes for me, little by little…

Our Calling...

Paul, called to be an apostle of Christ Jesus by the will of God, and our brother Sosthenes,
To the church of God in Corinth, to those sanctified in Christ Jesus and called to be holy, together with all those everywhere who call on the name of our Lord Jesus Christ–their Lord and ours (1 Corinthians 1:1-2)

These first two verses of 1st Corinthians were the basis for what Dr Samuel Ong shared in church today. I think I had better start bringing a pen and a notebook to church again so that I can take down sermon notes. I had to crack my brains to try and remember what the points were. When we look back at Saint Paul’s calling, we can see these three things:

It was a divine call
St. Paul acknowledged that it was by the will of God that he was called; hence, his call was a divine call. It is always God who calls us, whether in spectacular or unspectacular ways.

He was first called into a relationship with God
Before Paul was called to be an apostle, he was first called into a relationship with God. This is a call to all human beings. It is a call to be sanctified and to enter into a personal relationship with Jesus Christ.

He was then called to be an apostle
God brought Paul out of the world into a relationship with Him. God then sends him back into the world as an apostle. This is God’s call to all Christians into a particular ministry and role in the body of Christ.

‘Servanthood’, ‘moving on’, ‘calling’; these words have been the theme for the past week. The sermon today has only confirmed the whispers that I have been hearing in my heart lately. The more I hear, the more I am certain that this is God’s still, small voice. As God slowly gives me a little nudge here and there, these thoughts come to mind – Why now? Why at this time? Why only after 7 months?

The answer came crystal clear to me. I hadn’t been listening. Ever since graduation, I have strayed further and further away from God, and I knew it. Without the CF and any sort of community in church, it seemed like a recipe for disaster. I seldom prayed; I almost never took time to listen to God. I felt weird whenever people around me talked about God. I never talked much about God. I could sense that my character was going down the drain. I lost my patience easily, became stingy and selfish. I knew what was happening in my life. I tried and tried to claw my way back, but failed miserably.

I am glad and eternally thankful that God has restored me and has continued to work in my life. That is why I found the book of Nehemiah so close to my heart as we were studying it. It is an account of the unfolding drama of the restoration of the nation of Judah. Step by step, God was using Nehemiah to restore the nation and bring them back to Him. The past months have been a story of God’s work of restoration in my life. I thank God for my friends in SK who have played a part in this restoration by being my Bible study and accountability partners. After calling me back into a personal relationship with Him, I can now hear His voice calling me again. It is a call to be His servant. It is a call to move on…

What Does Moving on Really Mean for Me Now?

What does moving on really mean for me now?

This is the question that I have been asking myself lately. It all began during our Bible study in Seri Kembangan as we were doing one of our studies on Nehemiah. The Lord showed me through Nehemiah’s life that Nehemiah always moved on as he served his God and people. Upon completion of the rebuilding of Jerusalem’s walls, he went on to the tasks of repopulating Jerusalem and leading spiritual reforms in Judah. He never stopped nor rest on his laurels. His life was about moving on from one task to the next, inspired by the vision and passion that was given to him by God.

As I reflect upon my own life, I realize that I have stopped right where I was, ever since I handed over my role as CFMMU president. It has been very convenient for me to think that I have done a lot, and that it is time for me to take a break. No doubt that resting in God is as important as working for God, but it has been 7 months at least since I graduated, and I am still floating around, not knowing what my role is in the kingdom of God.

Recently, I called Joash, a friend of mine, out for lunch, mainly because I felt that I hadn’t had a chat with him for a long time. I had worked with Joash together as CG coordinators in the CF before, and he has been very encouraging to me. As we were having lunch, he mentioned that the CF members are often encouraged when they see graduates coming back to CF. He shared his belief that the seniors would play a pivotal role in the CF by being examples to the younger members. I agree with him, and I have always believed that the CF needs more seniors who will take up the challenge to be godly examples to the younger generation.

The discussion with Joash really made me think about what my role here in MMU is, especially in regards to the CF. Does God still have an important role for me in CFMMU? This thought has never occurred to me before, with all the things I hear from other CF graduates about moving on in life. Any of us graduates who still go to CF are often cheekily chided about not being able to ‘move on’. No doubt we have to move on, as Nehemiah did. But the question remains: What does moving on really mean for me, now that I am still in MMU? I am reminded of the time when I had just completed my undergraduate program. I wanted to serve God in FES, but then faced opposition from my parents. I ended up working as a research officer in MMU, while pursuing my postgraduate degree here. Didn’t I want to be involved in student work? Could it be that THIS is the door that God is opening for me into student ministry? Even though I am not in FES, isn’t it true that I can still be a part of it by helping out wherever God has placed me, in this case, MMU? These thoughts continue to dwell in my mind as I commit to pray and seek God regarding this matter for the coming weeks. I pray that I will be able to move on, into new adventures with my Saviour, as He reveals to me what role I am to play in His kingdom and what new task He has in store for me.